Me Talk Pretty One Day.

"Giant Dreams, Midget Abilities."

In this chapter Sedaris introduces his father, Lou Sedaris, a conservative computer engineer who uses a concoction of vodka and jazz to melt away his daily stress. In fact, in this portrayal, Lou doesn't just sooth himself with jazz music, he is obsessed with it.

Sedaris recalls an evening during his childhood when his father takes him and his sisters, Gretchen and Lisa, to see the musician David Brubeck perform. It is notable that on this particular night, Mr. Brubeck is accompanied by his sons.

Shamelessly, Lou is the most active listener in a crowd of quietly observant fans. Unlike his quiet counterparts, he beats his head and chest wildly to the music, embarrassing his children.
During the ride home, Lou begins to daydream aloud about having a family jazz band. He then forces his children to pick up instruments.

David gets the guitar, even though he has no interest in playing the instrument. His teacher, a very short man, tells David the importance of a musicians instrument and that he should name his guitar and be devoted to it like a lover. David says he wants to give his guitar a name like Oliver but his teacher discourages this.

After a while of not practicing and lack of interest, David stops taking guitar lessons.