Observations

I've been thinking a lot lately. My grandfather had a heart attack recently and was in the hospital for about two weeks. He's fine now but my entire family's daily lives were thrown out of control. I while my mom was out at the hospital with her dad, I got left with a lot more responsibilities that I'm not used to. This all made me think about what I'm going to do with my life after college as well as thinking about my physical health.

I want to go to an art college and after I graduate I want to go into an ar career. But art colleges are very hard to get into. And with college competition and rising tutition, I'll proably end up at OSU or OU. More likely OU because its cheaper. I'm striving for CCAD but I need to keep my grades up or else my GPA won't be high enough and I won't be accepted. And this is me worrying just about getting to college. Afterwards is entirely different and far more negative.

And then there's my health both physical and mental. I'm average size, average weight, but my family is always pressing me to do more, more, more you're not doing enough to keep your weight off! And it makes me feel bad about my self, like I'm overweight. And I'm not. All my friends say that I'm not, and part of me says that I'm not but there's the other half of me that says that I am. I understand that I need to keep active because my family has a history of heart and weight related health problems but I feel that what I'm doing right now isn't good enough. I walk at least four miles every other day for more then two and a half hours. That's good, right? But my mom and my youngest sister, my sister especially, say that I do nothing but sit on ass and do nothing. Not only does this make me feel like heavy but it leaves me feeling very pissed off.

Sorry for the bitchfest. But now that I've said I feel much better.